Role modelling

Last weekend my wife had an open studio event where people wandered off the street into our garden to visit her workshop where she upholsters chairs.  My son and I were front-of-house, there to signpost guests and take coffee and cake orders.

This weekend I’m at the Farnham Maltings for the umpteenth time with my 15 year old selling her art.  It’s the night after a Halloween party so she’s bound to be in a terrific mood but I know it’s good for her.  And for my bank balance - she has expensive tastes in clothes.

There was a thing on LinkedIn last week about “only being able to do what you can see” highlighting the importance of role models. It’s really struck me how my children’s primary role models - their parents - are so different from my own.

My dad worked full-time, my mum did too after the kids grew up – neither of them were entrepreneurs.  My dad tried it with a yacht chartering franchise into which he sunk all his redundancy money – and it failed.  So he went back to full-time work – but he never got another corporate job again after 53.

Having a job was just something we Forbeses did – and do.

My wife was always more entrepreneurial.  When we moved to Aberdeen, she gave up her much better paid job at Marks & Spencer as a lingerie buyer and couldn’t find work (only as an oil buyer which she didn’t fancy). So she made stunningly beautiful wedding stationery for Aberdeenshire brides – she did really well.  And she did it around a baby – a baby who is now 17 and has never not known her mother apply her talents to make money from home.

Our youngest son has watched the 15 year old use her talents to make money and is now very focused on busking with his saxophone (he’s just learning the crowd pleaser Baker Street).

I think this is so good for them to see alternative career paths than just getting an all-consuming, full-time job.  I’m sure they all will get one first – the costs of university may dictate they do - but if they retain that self-worth and recall the role model in their mother – and maybe even in their father now - then that will give them options.

I remember one of the factors in me leaving BP was thinking about my children – and particularly the idea of settling and doing something I wasn’t enjoying just to bring home the bacon.  I wanted them to grow up believing everything is possible and that they always have choices. I didn’t want them to see their dad trudging off to the train every day, moaning about work, feeling under-valued and under-utilised.

And I think it’s worked.  They’re now used to me being at home more, having more than one source of income, but also hearing the ups and downs of this life.  When I have a meeting that sounds like an opportunity they get excited for me – and when something falls through they commiserate and cheer me up.  They saw me close my business Familiarize and have to lay off my wonderful employee Yunus. But they also saw their dad become an author with a book that’s got their name in it.

They share in the ebbs and flows of parents running real businesses.

If they’d not seen this, it’s unlikely they would have known it was an option for them too.

And, looking to the future of work, maybe that’s the best preparation we could give them.

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I haven’t plugged the Escape Plan for a while here but someone last week said it was “exactly what I needed“ and they loved “the thought-provoking exercises“ and it’s made them “feel ready to at least consider an alternative to my career“ - I couldn’t ask for more, And it’s just £30 - what an investment in yourself!

Also a quick reminder, if you haven’t reviewed Corporate Escapology yet please could you - you don’t need to write loads but it makes a huge difference. Christmas is the time people often start thinking about ‘What’s next?’ or ‘What if?’ so I’d love Amazon’s algorithm to point them to my book! Thank you!