One year on

This week a year ago I left behind my comfortable, well-worn slippers, - aka bp - and embarked on this new adventure as the corporate escapologist.  It’s been a flipping long year when I reflect how it started with an unanticipated experiment called “Try home-schooling” that lasted over two months.

That experiment may have failed, although it may be one Bertie and I will never forget for lots of good reasons as well as bad; but many other experiments since then have passed.  Some with flying colours.

Innovate UK funding stands out, as does hiring my first highly talented, high-integrity full stack engineer Yunus, and some key moments on Zoom where I talked about customer discovery and realised this is what I am meant to do.

I also met a bunch of you – and some I even got to work with.  I’ve had the most incredible response to my writing that has pushed me to keep on, as well as pushed me to try to get better.

But a year on I see a more fundamental change has taken place in me.  Up until the end of August I felt like Familiarize was one of many experiments and I’d eventually go back to a corporate job.  I might even try back at bp.  I applied for a couple of jobs and snooped at lots more on LinkedIn.  I even contacted someone at bp about a job they had posted.

It was a bit like I was tethered.  And defined by escaping corporate life; it was only a matter of time before I’d go back.  There might even have been times I wanted to.  It’s blinking exhausting setting your own agenda every day, feeling like you can never coast, never taking holidays, working most evenings – and most of all, doing it alone.

But over the past few months, two things have made me close the door on a full-time job:

1. Winning a few bits of work has given me faith in my earning potential (and in Familiarize)

2. Building a resilient floor (aka “I will struggle to deliver my purpose in a corporate job”) has kept me from spiralling (too much).

Someone recently said to me “You’ve stopped seeing a job as your back-up plan”, which sums it up well.

One year on and I’m feeling more consistently stable.  I’ve realised this is now my life and the experiment is over.  Or at least the experiment of multiple experiments.  I tried a few different startups, becoming an employee of a startup, joining an accelerator, writing a book, building a community, even becoming a public speaker, and a hundred other things I’d not tried when I was at bp.

But now I’m settled on Familiarize.  This is the only game in town (apart from a bit of marketing consulting to pay for me and Yunus).

I had a coaching session on Tuesday and Miffa said “it’s taken a full year to get here”.  I wasn’t sure if she felt that was too long or quite short – and I guess it doesn’t matter, it’s just taken this long.  But I’ve had fun along the way, grown up a lot and built more self-confidence in the last year than during 16 at bp.  (That feels sad to admit but I think it’s true).

Coming to the end of a year or starting a new one is often time for reflection – as well as looking ahead.  Here’s some ways to help:

1.     Look back over things you’ve written down and notice if, or how, you sound different.  That’s easy for me with this blog, but I have tonnes of notes on my phone to help see what was worrying me then or how I felt – what persists and what’s gone away?

2.     Look at your week and how you allocate time.  Notice how it’s changed – does it feel more busy or less, more filled with calls or fewer, more fee-paying calls than ‘chatting’?

3.     I can’t help but evaluate this year based on income generated versus what I left behind in bp.  It’s just one measure I know, but add up everything you’ve earned – how does that make you feel?  What do you need to do differently?

4.     List out five or six things that really stand out for you this year, maybe things you’d never have done in your old corporate life.

5.     We’ve also got to be honest with ourselves where we’ve achieved less than we expected.  My noisy inner critic can reel off a list here with zero effort, so pick through what you really have to achieve over the next twelve months.  For me it’s all about customers.  My embryonic product has let me off the hook here and that has to end.

I actually hit a milestone this month in earning as much money from consultancy as I did at bp (minus all the lavish, sorely-missed benefits).  This has given me confidence that this new life is sustainable – and it’s allowing me to self-fund Familiarize, which gives me more freedom.

In my first corporate escapologist blog I wrote with characteristic drama “I’ve decided to experiment with my life”. Whilst I feel I’ve tried lots of things out, in many ways I feel like I’ve come home, to what I was always meant to do.

This year has just given me the push.

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I would love to hear from those of you who have passed or are soon to pass an anniversary leaving your corporate job, how are you feeling?  How does it compare with a year ago – and with where you thought you’d be by now?  What have you learned and where is it taking you?