Mentor me
I said a few blogs back that you’re not on your own. And then I said last week that you kind of are. Get used to ambiguity, because both are true. Something that can really fill in the gap however, is a mentor, preferably a few. People with experience and wisdom who can help you on your way.
Of course, mentoring has always been a part of climbing the corporate ladder. The CEO prepares their protégé(e) for succession and greater things. At more junior levels, staff are encouraged to find formal and informal mentors - away from the line - to help navigate the company, challenge themselves and learn from experience.
I had my fair share of mentors at bp, mostly informal. I liked to ask questions, play out scenarios and see things from different perspectives. Without feeling like I’d exposed too much of myself or behave ineptly or naively.
The mentors I seek out today are mostly pretty different. People who have trodden this business-building path. The ones who can help me find shortcuts and hacks, who tell me what’s normal and what’s not, who remind me why I’m doing this and who hold me to account. Just like Waldo Emerson says:
But mostly, I am looking for inspiration from my mentors. Not the Instagram platitudes about the money I will make or the grit it will take. Or the endless photos of Bezos, Musk and (bizarrely) The Rock. It’s inspiration that feels challenging, pushes me and makes me feel uncomfortable.
So, now I have a bunch of mentors. They fill the gaps for me. Some have built tech products like Familiarize, some know more about B2C than me, some have scaled their businesses and exited, and some are applying what they’ve learnt as a founder back in another corporate role.
They’re all different, but one thing connects them all: they all give a toss about me. I feel like they are willing me to be successful. And that spurs me on.
Here’s a few tips I’ve learnt these past few months when it comes to mentoring:
Take some time to identify your big gaps, the ones you need to close most urgently. You could read a book, do a training course but you’re likely to gain more by building a relationship with someone who can share their experience.
One of the upsides of lockdown is more people are up for a 30 minute call. Expand your mentoring network on LinkedIn, Instagram, Slack. Be specific why you want to talk, avoid the word ‘mentor’ and show some gratitude; you’ll be amazed who’ll find time.
Mentoring isn’t marriage: you’re not locked in, you can play the field and dip in and out. Your mentors are likely to be busy people; they only want to meet when they can be most helpful.
Learn how to get more from your mentoring by mentoring others. You have amassed a huge amount of knowledge and expertise in your corporate, share it. And as you learn to be a better mentor, you’ll learn how to get even more from your own mentoring.
It goes without saying you’ve got to be respectful about your mentor’s time. But also create some distance. Mentors aren’t co-founders or employees; they have their own lives. Don’t become reliant on their advice and approval. You are the boss.
Picking up on tip #4, you can pay forward what you get out of mentoring by helping others and sharing your wisdom and experience. And that can start today.
I had a terrible experience as a mentor recently which knocked my confidence. Maybe we weren’t right for each other, but maybe I just wasn’t as good as I should have been. I’ve reflected a lot on it these past few months as I embark on more mentoring and will share some “how to mentor better” reflections on Instagram this week. I hope that will make me a better mentor, and get more from the time and wisdom of my mentors.
Take my advice, don’t feel like you’re on your own and need to know everything. Find yourself some mentors who can inspire you, teach you what they’ve learnt and who can help you become the best you can be.
I’ve been bowled over by more people this week contacting me, telling me how they’re finding this blog helpful. If you think someone you know who’s leaving or thinking about leaving corporate life to start their own journey might find it useful, please share the link. And catch me on Instagram each day at @corporateescapologist or whenever suits you at adam@gofamiliarize.com
Great read!, being a mentor can be just as rewarding if not more than being a mentee.