When I worked in Aberdeen I had a hilarious friend called Bjoern-Tore who spent most of his time offended by Scottish directness (even though the Norwegians are masters of it). “Thank you for your unsolicited feedback” was one of his many lines while he sloped off to nurse his thin skin.
My skin is quite a bit thicker these days, but I felt the same plunging confidence when wife and daughter shared similar unsolicited feedback about my image this week. It all came down to two things: general scruffiness and Patagonia.
I suspect the scruffiness is an overhang from lockdown, but it is also a reaction to a career in bp, where (for a long time) you couldn’t wear jeans or trainers.
At Launchpad I let my hair down, wearing the uniform of the startup – trainers, jeans, sweatshirt, vest. Then I took immense joy from walking in those same hallowed halls, rucksack on my back, The Subversive.
But I suppose I looked smart enough. No dinner down my jeans (as my daughter pointed out), reasonable intervals between the same clothes being worn, stubble kept under control.
Their unsolicited feedback did however strike a chord. Especially as I have now started to leave the house, get on a train and meet people without an Instagram filter or a Zoom background to distract.
The second bit of feedback, about Patagonia, felt more unjust. I have always been a lazy shopper and once I like a brand I am fiercely loyal until forcibly detached from it – Hackett replaced Jack Wills, Crew replaced Hackett, and now we have Patagonia.
I haven’t worn a big brand across my chest in a really long time, maybe never. So what is about Patagonia that cries out “buy me, buy me”. “Wear this coloured mackerel on your back or a personal stance on future dam-building”.
If I go back to the Jobs to be Done frame I use at Familiarize to help businesses better get to know their customers, what am I hiring Patagonia’s clothes for?
To keep me warm, dry, cool? No, it’s not really about the garment itself, despite the product quality and the quirky designs. It’s very little about the functional.
It’s definitely more about how it makes me feel – I feel I am doing something for the planet buying more expensive clothes that last longer, mostly made from recycled materials.
But that’s only part of it. Because I know – as does Patagonia – buying new clothes is just perpetuating the problem.
No, it’s almost entirely a social need that Patagonia fulfils for me. A social job I hire it to perform.
Because it’s also partly because of its ethical principles and what Patagonia stands for – and has always stood for. And I want to belong to that community of people who are trying to do something.
So, I’m not going to stop wearing Patagonia. But I am going to branch out – and find others on Patagonia’s mission, to make more durable clothes, to make things more circular, to do less harm. And there are lots of them now. Rapanui, Nudie Jeans, Pangaia…
Interestingly, as soon as my eye wandered from Patagonia, I began to look for functional reasons for a purchase – was it warm enough now Autumn is upon us? What’s the quality like? Is the sizing going to be right? - before I thought about emotional and social reasons. Functional is the entry criteria.
Don’t worry I am not going to give you five tips to help improve your image. You are no doubt doing a much better job than me. But instead, here’s four things to think about as you escape one life and build another:
How much of what we do and buy is anything to do with its function and utility – and how much to do with our feelings and where we fit among our tribe? How does this affect as us as we build businesses, brands, relationships?
How can these three lenses – functional, social, emotional - deepen our understanding of our customer, improve our product and offer and sharpen our marketing messages?
I’m a lazy fashionista and in fact a lazy purchaser full stop. Once I like something I’m lazily loyal. But when so much is changing in our lives – both what we’re changing and what’s changing around us – it might not be a bad time to look at the choices we’re making to see if we can do better – especially when it comes to climate impact.
Unsolicited feedback can be a bit intrusive and frankly a pain in the backside, but it can be some of the most useful we get. If we thicken up our skin and look what’s behind the comment, we might learn something.
As I watch teenage girls – and a rather streetwise nine year old son – grow up, I’m hugely relieved all that image consciousness is pretty much behind me. Or maybe it’s just that I can afford to give into it – a bit anyway.
Like anything, it’s a lot about confidence. When we do things with purpose and intent, we tend to make better choices. But once in a while, someone holding a mirror up to us, unsolicited or otherwise, may give us a different perspective that keeps us fresh, interesting and positively self-conscious.
I guess I’ll have to work on how I smell next. Eco-aftershave anyone?
You smell fine. Ask Jojo. xx