50 shades of green
When I was a kid (ie before I had my own kids), I used to believe the grass was always greener somewhere else. I coveted my neighbour’s almost-everything. I always thought my life would be better if something else would happen. My parents said I could never be happy with my lot.
It was a bit harsh, but had a grain of truth in it, for sure.
As I’ve got older, I’m more sceptical about how green the grass really is elsewhere. I recognise for every person posting about how perfect their life is on Instagram, there’s another side, another story.
I also know that the people who put everything into building a really successful career, with executive in their title, the enormous house and flashy car, probably deserve it. Because something else has had to give. Relationships, time, self-care.
Leaving all that behind isn’t straightforward. Even if you haven’t reached the heady heights or made the same sacrifices
It’s not as simple as ‘dirty green scrubland ‘over Here and ‘lush, vibrant green meadows’ over There – although it can often seem that way when you’re feeling particularly hacked off.
Over There almost certainly has its own brown patches – especially in the early days during the transition (which could last several years). And, likewise, Over Here is peppered with vibrant green - when you get a bonus, or a promotion or a project goes well.
It’s all shades of green.
I used to feel protection from a regular salary, now I have a buffer.
I used to feel proud working for a household name, now I’m proud building my own name.
I used to get my energy from being busy, being needed, now I get it from my free time.
Both are right, were right and could be right again.
One of the first things I do with new clients looking to leave corporate life is to help them get really specific about what they value about their current job and what they expect life to be like somewhere else.
Give it a try:
Think of five things you really value about your current job.
And another five that you want from your new life (but take off those rose-tinted glasses).
Often what we value about our job can, in fact, be replicated somewhere else: predictable income, status, identity, structure, belonging. It just may take time as we settle in and build experience. But it’s important to have the self-awareness to know that these things matter to us and, where possible, why.
Because then we know we have to build them into our new life. Otherwise we will always look back wondering if we made the right choice. If it was all worthwhile.
Corporate Escapology is all about preparation. It’s both about maximising the chances of success of landing somewhere safely and about avoiding unpleasant surprises on the way - as well as once you’re land.
Part of that is about being realistic about what There is like.
There’s no point kidding ourselves. Because in my experience talking to hundreds of people wanting to leave, some of those fictions actually keep us trapped where we are.
In fact, I spoke to someone this week who had talked to a financial advisor and found out his pension would last him until he was 99 even if he started taking it now in his 50s. Before he had this data his pension was one of the main reasons he justified staying.
It’s only when we’re honest with ourselves that we commit to change – because then we know that where we’re heading is right for us.
And that’s why the grass may well seem greener.